Immortal Dragons: The First Four: Prequel + Books 1-3 Read online

  Belah closed her eyes and let out the tense breath she’d been holding, careful not to release her power, though she had the strongest urge to do just that to try to placate him. When she opened her eyes again, she tilted her head back to meet his gaze. The depth of emotion she saw—love, concern, even that same shared shame—made her want to comfort him rather than make excuses.

  “Ked… don’t.”

  “Did I make you this way?” he asked in a low voice tinged with worry.

  Sweet Mother, that wasn’t the question she needed to hear.

  Belah expelled a breath. “Maybe we did this to each other. Maybe Fate had a hand in it. Does it matter now, though? We are what we are.”

  She reached up and brushed her hands through the sleek, black fur that covered the cloak he wore—something from another, colder land that stood out among the loose, pale clothing preferred in her kingdom. A garment that reflected the darkness and brutal elements of his own self-exile.

  In truth, the pain of their past had faded and she relished the reminder that Nikhil gave her, each spike of pain reminding her of the agony she’d felt when her child had been taken away. But to mate him would irrevocably alter his character. It would destroy the mystery she loved so much, and would incite her need to breed again. The last time she’d loved this deeply, the product of that love had nearly destroyed her—or the loss of it had, anyway.

  “You never loved the others, did you?” Ked said, pulling back and gazing down at her.

  Belah’s mind filled with the telltale darkness of her brother’s power, digging into her deepest emotions. No matter how far beneath the surface she had buried it, he could find the truth. She shoved hard against his chest.

  “Get out of my head! Who I love or don’t love is none of your concern!” She spun away, striding toward the window to try to find some sunlight to clear away the shadows he still pushed into her mind. The intimacy of the contact was too much after so long apart.

  The darkness retreated, but Ked followed, pausing behind her. Thankfully, he refrained from contact this time.

  “That’s the only way you could mate the others after me, wasn’t it? Because you never actually loved them. Did you think your indifference was a favor to the children you bore? Do you even realize how detached your line has become? This craving you have isn’t isolated. It seeps through the magic connection whether you want it to or not. Your descendants will probably always have similar cravings.”

  “Don’t you think I know that? The only child unaffected by my craving was…” Ours. The word stuck in her throat, choking her. She hadn’t been this way before. She’d been as normal and perfect as her mother had wished her and the rest of her siblings to be. The child she and Ked had made had been the product of a union that should never have happened among dragonkind, but their son’s origins didn’t diminish the love she had for the child, or the loss when their mother and Fate had taken him away.

  She and Ked had both punished themselves ever since, in different ways. She’d been at it for so long that now she craved the pain of her attrition as much as the pleasure she required for sustenance.

  “If you love him, mate him,” her brother said. “Make a child with him and let yourself finally heal. At least one of us should be allowed to have a life.”

  “Did it occur to you that it may be too late? I need what he gives me. Mating him won’t change me. But it will change him, and I need him the way he is now.”

  Ked’s gaze dropped to the level of her thighs again, reminding her of the all too present painful pressure. She could sense the train of argument he refrained from speaking aloud. She’d had the same argument with herself countless times since realizing that Nikhil was the one man who truly satisfied her. She could train him again after she marked him, but she would always know he was merely a tamed beast, conditioned by the magic of her immortal mark to do her bidding.

  The muscles in Ked’s jaw flexed. Once upon a time, that tension might have meant something different, but now all she sensed was regret. He turned away and moved back into the shadows away from the window.

  “I used to fill that need for you, when it wasn’t complicated by… other desires. If he can fill it for you, you have my blessing, but take care with him. His aura is dark—dangerous.”

  Belah turned and leaned back against the window sill, regarding him with a perplexed smile. “More dangerous than you? Maybe that’s why I love him.”

  Ked’s expression grew more serious. “Keeping him bonded to you too long without marking him is a risk. No matter what he is to you, just know that I am still your protector. That will never change, sister.”

  Her protector. The word reminded her of how Nikhil had behaved the night after he’d first started their daily games of secret, sexual torture. In spite of the exhilarating abuses she’d endured at his hand—the bruises and welts she only wished could leave scars—he had been tender at the end, seeing to her care in the aftermath. Did that mean he would be her protector? Beyond being the general that defended her kingdom, would he defend her body, her honor?

  If only Nikhil could mark her instead of the other way around—the way her brother’s love had irrevocably marked her soul so long ago. With Nikhil she wished for a tangible reflection of the depth of her feelings for him, yet her nature meant she never scarred—nothing could pierce her skin the way Nikhil’s every action had branded her heart and soul.

  There may be a way, but she had to be sure—she had never attempted it herself.

  “I do want him as a mate,” she said. “This life is a burden to bear alone, you know this as well as the rest of us. But do you ever wish for a partner who can bear the burden for you? One who can take the control away? He lets me breathe. Were I to mark him, I would be shouldering the suffocating burden of his life as well as mine. I want him to mark me instead.”

  Ked’s shoulders rose and fell with his heavy breath as he turned toward her. “My burdens are my own to bear. They will never be truly lifted, sister, and neither will yours. Any reprieve his actions give you are an illusion. But if a simple mark will help, for the sake of a memento, I will tell you how to do it. You must make me a promise, first.”

  Belah’s heart raced. She ached to be able to predict her brother’s words, but his thoughts were cloaked so well she likely couldn’t even glean a hint if she used her breath to get inside his head.

  “What is it?” she whispered.

  “You may let him mark you, but if you still refuse to give him your mark, you must give him up. He is Blessed—too long unmated to their bonded dragon and they tend to go mad. He needs your mark as much as you believe you need him.”

  He stood silent, watching her and waiting. Give him up? How could she give him up? She wanted to keep him forever! No… she wanted to be kept. Which was a thought ill-befitting a dragon. Her brother was indulging her as much as possible already. She would have to decide soon which course to take.

  Slowly, she nodded. “Yes. I will either mate him or find him another.” Calmed by the thought, she nodded again. It could work well that way. The power of his Blessing may prevent a weaker dragon’s mark from changing him so much that he lost what she loved about him. Whether or not he would agree to such an arrangement was an issue she would have to deal with later.

  “How can he mark me?”

  “With your own magic, sister. Your fire is the key.”

  With that, Ked grew cloudy and amorphous, and in the blink of an eye, the huge, dark shape that was her brother disappeared.

  Chapter Nine

  Belah stared at the empty space her brother had occupied, still processing what he’d told her. The confirmation that her fire would enable marks to be etched into her skin had her mind racing with possibilities. The escalation of Nikhil’s games made her want to be marked by him in some way more and more. She wanted memories of his touch. Tangible evidence that he’d b
een in command of her body. As much as she would love to mark him to keep him with her forever, she wanted what he gave her now even more. She would rather carry memories of these times than mark him and have a shadow of the man she loved exist beside her day by day.

  The small spikes digging into her upper thighs now made that desire achingly sharp. She could feel the pain, but it was no more than an acute pressure. How much more sensation would she receive were his toys to actually break skin? Her hands went involuntarily to her breasts and she closed her eyes, imagining a pair of scarabs attached by teeth piercing through her nipples. Even the imagined pain caused her body to shudder with need.

  Ked’s question remained in her mind. Had her brother done this to her? Perhaps, but so indirectly he should bear no blame now. She had lived with the pain of loss for so long, and the stigma of their shame, that she needed these small reminders to feel whole. The grief had filled her so thoroughly that when it faded, she was left empty. Nikhil had filled that emptiness with his brutal attention in a way that made sense to her for the first time in ages. Not even the pleasure provided by her pets or their eager gifts of magic had sated her so well.

  The door to her study opened and shut softly behind her. Belah closed her eyes and breathed in Nikhil’s familiar scent, her skin prickling in anticipation of his approach. Part of her ached to tell him all her secrets, even that ancient darkness that still lingered deep inside.

  The truth was that her union with her brother had altered her forever, even after the child she’d carried of his blood had been born and taken. She never let herself think of the child anymore—where he might have gone or what kind of dragon he’d become. Was he even an immortal like his parents? Their mother had refused to share the truth, and Fate had made it clear Belah was never to know.

  Nikhil’s presence was unlike any other mate she’d taken in the past. He didn’t seek to fill her with light and love, but pulled her into his darkness and held her there by every thread of pain he inflicted. And she reveled in it more with each passing day.

  The closer he came, the more her body ached for his potent touch. The flesh between her legs swelled into a tight knot, hot with wet desire and throbbing to be parted by his body in any fashion he saw fit. Yet when he finally reached her he merely rested his large hands on her shoulders, warm and comforting.

  His breath teased at the loose strands of hair at her nape, beneath the upswept waves of her locks. With silken caresses, his lips trailed over the bare curve at the side of her throat while his hands drifted lower. He said nothing, but as his touch continued down her body, his fingers dug in harder. He cupped her breasts, pulling the sides of her gown apart to reveal her creamy flesh, then pinched her nipples harshly, twisting and tugging at them until she cried out. The gown fell to her waist and with a rough tug, he forced it to the floor at her feet.

  Again his hands dug into her curves, kneading and squeezing with all the strength she knew he had, marking her the only way he could with the force of his own desire. She loved the bruises he gave her, but they were too fleeting. Still, in the moment, they were precisely what she needed.

  Belah sighed under Nikhil’s touch, leaning back against him as his hands dipped lower to wrap around the bands at her thighs and squeeze. A harsh cry escaped her throat at the sudden rush of sensation. Her chest arched forward and she turned her head, giving her mouth to him and moaning into his kiss while he kneaded the bands harder into her legs, each new bit of pressure inciting fresh jolts of desire through her.

  Her arousal flooded out of her, hot and wet, coating her thighs and the leather of the bands. The fertile scent wafted to her nostrils and she spread her legs. Nikhil responded with a groan, ending the kiss with a bite of her lower lip and gazing down her torso, eyes blazing.

  “These must be your new favorites. Maybe we try something similar, but closer to your cunt next.”

  He released his hold and the pressure around her thighs subsided, leaving a dull throb behind. He traced the edges of the leather bands, drawing her slick juices along the top edges between her thighs, so close to her aching flesh she nearly begged for his touch. Nikhil seemed too enthralled by her reaction, and too fascinated with whatever new idea had popped into his head.

  “Try whatever you wish, my love,” Belah said, hoping that just now he would at least try to give her pleasure.

  “Mmm, perhaps a bauble or two for the prettiest part of you,” he said almost idly. His fingertips slipped further in and teased along the edge of her outer lips, drawing moisture back and forth over the sensitive skin. The heat between her legs grew unbearable and Belah moaned, nodding distractedly. She let out a sharp hiss when he gripped each fold of flesh between thumb and forefinger and pinched hard. A deep chuckle rumbled forth from him. “Yes, I think my little beast would enjoy that, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yes,” she gasped, the affirmative as much in response to his question as to the sudden thrust of his fingers filling her cunt and twisting inside her.

  Abruptly she found herself turned and bent over the window sill, breasts pressed against the far corner of the wide ledge. Behind her, cloth rustled, and a second later, Nikhil rammed his thick, hard flesh into her. He grabbed both her hands and twisted her arms behind her back, pinning her wrists together with one hand while the other gripped her upper thigh again, squeezing at the spiked leather in time with his relentless fucking.

  Beyond the edge of the window she nearly hung out of, Belah had the most glorious view of moon rising full and bright over the river—her river—and her kingdom beyond. Everything outside this little bubble he kept her in belonged to her, as far as her eyes could see. Yet inside the span of his gaze, she belonged to him. He commanded both her pleasure and pain, and at his command, her body shuddered and fell apart with the power of her orgasm. Nikhil’s heavy cock swelled and flooded her insides with his own climax at the same time.

  In the haze of the aftermath, he sat her down on a nearby bench and cleaned her up. He made a conscientious master, which should not have surprised her. Men followed him into battle, after all. It was only natural for her to fall under his spell so easily. She loved the contradiction of his tenderness in the wake of the exquisite pain he could give her, and the pleasure that accompanied it.

  He knelt before her and unbuckled the leather strips around her thighs. Belah gasped at the rush of sensation followed by relief from the pain. The absence of it was every bit as exhilarating. The frown that creased his brow worried her.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  Nikhil brushed his fingertips over the reddened indentations in her legs and shook his head. “I thought you only a fast healer the last time you wore these. I didn’t see your skin after you took them off before. Why is there no blood?”

  “My body can’t be pierced by human implements. No sword or spear, or even needle, is capable of breaching my skin, even in this form.”

  Nikhil’s gaze shot to her face, his dark eyes wider than she’d ever seen them, but his frown deepened in spite of his surprise. Slowly, he narrowed his eyes as he took in her own forlorn look. “You don’t sound happy about that fact, ‘Iilahatan. Yet it is fitting for a goddess to be so incorruptible. Why do you look so sad now?”

  Belah’s chest warmed at the sound of concern. “Of all the men I have ever bedded, you are the only one who I have ever wished could corrupt me. Your touch makes me forget the burdens of immortality. I want more than you can give through your own power.”

  “I would gladly give you everything you wish for, if you can tell me how.”

  Her confession to her brother rushed back, yet Belah hesitated to share it with Nikhil. The timing wasn’t right. She still needed to give their relationship more time, explore how far he would really go in fulfilling her needs, before she shared her desire to have him mark her. It may have been a foolish wish, but she wanted the unconventional mating to happen on the same day, with a
private ceremony, and only after she had told him everything. Because after he was marked—even if it was by a younger, weaker dragon—things may still change. She simply wanted more time to enjoy him before they did.

  Still behaving as the tender, caring master, Nikhil helped her dress and walked with her back to her chambers. In spite of the short walk, the silence between them made her ache to tell him everything now.

  His aura flickered with his undisguised disappointment. She didn’t understand why this aspect of her nature should bother him so much until they reached the room and he sat in one of the wide leather chairs, looking even more dejected. He pulled a golden box from the folds of his robe and set it on the table beside him, giving her a wan smile.

  “It was going to be a surprise for tonight,” he explained in response to her raised eyebrows. “But now that I know your skin is so damn impenetrable, I suppose my cock piercing your pussy will have to suffice.”

  Curious, Belah walked to the table and touched the box, running her fingertips over the exquisite relief design that covered the lid—a wide pair of wings spanned the width, with the shape of a woman in between. He’d brought her a gift. One he couldn’t give her because her own nature had interfered.

  “My love, don’t look so sad,” he said, wrapping an arm around her and tugging her down onto his lap. “The little clips you use for your other jewelry make sense, now that I know. These were meant to be different… to pierce you… but I can have clips attached. Open it.” He picked up the box and set it into her hand.

  Shakily, Belah lifted the lid from the box. As she did, Nikhil’s free hand began roaming over her torso again, caressing gently and undressing her bit by bit. His fingers circled distractedly around and around one nipple when she peered into the box. Three golden hoops lay within, each one boasting a tiny jeweled scarab with blue-black wings and pincers extending up and around, becoming the loop that would have pierced her flesh, if that were possible.